8 – The world of sport
She is reading a women magazine. He is bored. After a while, he hesitates, takes out a sports magazine, and starts reading it. She notices it and looks surprised.
Her – You buy sports magazines, now ?
Him – Why wouldn’t I ?
Her – Well… And… you’re really going to read it ?
Him – I leaf through… To make up my mind…
Her – About what ?
Him – I don’t know. A lot of men read this on the tube. I just wondered what was so interesting…
Her – So, did you find out ?
Him – No…
She looks dismayed.
Her – Are you interested in sports ?
Him – Not much…
Her – Then it’s not very surprising that you do not find any interest reading sports magazines…
He puts his magazine away.
Him – Well… To be interested in sports is one thing. To feel every morning an irrepressible need to know if Luton beat Bratislava 3 to 1 or if the match ended in a draw is another thing. I don’t even know where Bratislava is…
Her – It’s the capital of Slovakia, isn’t it…
Him – Are you sure ?
Her – Or Slovenia…
Him – Slovenia ? Do you really think they can afford a football team ? It’s a very small country…
Her – Well, the Vatican is another one. And they’ve got a lot of money…
Him – Don’t tell me that the Vatican has also got a football team…?
He goes back to his sports magazine.
Her – But why does it matter so much for you, all of a sudden, to understand why men read sports magazines ?
Him – It would seem that I need to be reassured about my manhood…
Her – Well, too bad…
Him – Thank you.
Her – Listen, you can be a man without reading sports magazines.
Him – Really…?
She thinks about it.
Him – I don’t know… Do you want me to subscribe you to a car magazine ?
He looks at her, wondering if she is making fun of him. She goes back to her womens’ magazine.
Him – What about you ?
Her – Me ?
Him – What interest do you find reading womens’ magazines ?
She glares at him.
Her – You read them too…
Him – Well… Only for fun…
Her – I don’t read sports magazines… Even for fun…
Him (disturbed) – Do you find me effeminate, is that it ?
Her – But, no… All men read their wives’ magazines. It’s common knowledge. Why do you think there are so many advertisements for cars in womens’ magazines ?
Him – Well you don’t see many advertisements for washing machines in sports mags.
Her – And yet, football is a very dirty sport… You only have to see the number of football players in the advertisements for washing machines.
She goes back to her magazine. But he still seems preoccupied. She notices.
Her – Is there still something you are worried about ?
Him – No, I was just thinking about the differences between men and women…
Her – So…
Him – Take the clothes, for instance… Pants are no longer a male monopoly, but the skirt is still a woman’s privilege.
She looks at him, incredulous.
Him – The same with colours. You women can wear grey or pink as well. We have to stick to grey. Or brown… (After a while) You blame us for not liking shopping… But do you realise how depressing a men’s shoe store can be ?
She looks worried.
Her – You would like to be able to wear a pink miniskirt with stilettos ?
Him – No ! It’s just a simple statement of fact… You have stolen the best of our male attributes, and we did not receive anything in exchange. (He huffily goes back to his sports magazine) At least, we still have sports magazines.