Emergency exit

Emergency exit books drama comedy script buy online

Light on a couple, about to leave. He puts on his coat. She takes out a cigarette.

Her (enthusiastic) – So…?

Him (categorical) – Crap.

Her (shocked) – Crap ?

Him – Load of crap.

Her – You didn’t understand anything, then ?

Him – There was something to understand ?

Her – Oh, yes, of course…

Him (looking at her) – Of course what ?

Her – You get your revenge…

Him – What revenge…?

Her – This time I liked it, then you don’t… That’s really mean, don’t you think ?

Him – Wait, I didn’t like it, that’s all ! I’m not going to tell you that I liked it just to please you !

Her – You didn’t say that you didn’t like it, you said that it was crap. It’s not exactly the same !

Him – Well, I don’t really see the difference…

Her – It was crap, I liked it, so I am crap.

Him – You said it…

Her – I didn’t say it, Plato did.

Him – Plato says that you’re crap ?

Her – It’s called a syllogism. All women are mortal, I am a woman, so I am mortal.

Him – If Plato says so, then… As far as I am concerned, I just said that I found this thing dead boring. (After a while) Besides, I’m not even sure that your syllogism stands up.

Her – That’s right, go on…

Him – But… what did you like ?

Her – Everything !

Him – That’s rather vague, isn’t it ?

Her – What did you not like ?

Him – Well, I’d rather not get into details. You’ll get upset again…

Her – Me, upset ? Wait, I don’t care you didn’t like ! I liked it, that’s all. I feel sorry for you if you were bored…


Him – We’re not going to argue about that, are we ?

Her – Sometimes, I wonder what we’re doing together…

He takes her gently by the shoulder.

Him – Come on…

Her – Next time, I hope we will both like it…

Him – Or at least that we will agree…

She looks at him.

Him – We might both get bored.

Her – Well yes… It’s a minimalist idea of harmony…

They leave. Dark.