A comedy by Jean-Pierre Martinez
English translation by Anne-Christine Gasc
8 characters (males or females)
« Age doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese » said Kim Kardashian quoting Luis Buñuel. Life is like a cruise on the Titanic: whether you’re nibbling canapes on the top deck or slurping soup in the hold, at the end of the day we’re all destined to feed the fishes. So, as we wait for the inevitable iceberg, those of us who still can, might as well sit back, enjoy the orchestra and the sound of ice clinking in our glasses. A comedy laced with black humour throughout. The first metaphysical sitcom where the action takes place in an assisted living facility.
This text is available to read for free. However, an authorisation is required from the author prior to any public performance, whether by professional or amateur companies. To get in touch with Jean-Pierre Martinez and ask an authorisation to represent one of his works CONTACT FORM
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The song from the play. Lyrics and music Jean-Pierre Martinez. This song may be used as part of a stage production, simple request to the author and without any additional fees. The audio file is available upon request, subject to prior authorization from the author for the use of the play’s text.
Growing Old Without Disappearing: The Retirement Home as a Theatre of Life
Barely settled in at Les Sapins, Blanche joins a community of residents whose days revolve around armchairs, mealtimes and waiting for the next departure. When several deaths begin to look suspicious and the prospect of a cruise arouses everyone’s interest, the retirement home turns into a closed-circle murder mystery. Somewhere between a departure lounge and a waiting room, it becomes a ship on which everyone is trying to hold on to their place for as long as possible.
The play adopts the rhythm of a sitcom: a single setting, recurring characters and an action divided into different moments of the day. Misunderstandings caused by deafness or failing memory, petty rivalries and macabre jokes fuel a fast-moving comic mechanism. The criminal intrigue serves less to create suspense than to reveal the residents’ desires, frustrations and survival instincts.
Above all, the black humour avoids any sentimental or miserabilist portrayal of old age. These elderly characters flirt, lie, scheme and fiercely defend their own interests. Meanwhile, the younger people around them talk about freeing up beds, costs, rankings and medical procedures as though they were managing stock. The parallel between waiting lists for nurseries and those for retirement homes places this satire within a broader reflection on the way society organises human existence, from birth to death.
The epilogue mischievously reverses the relationship between the generations: the residents seem rejuvenated, while those looking after them are prematurely worn out. The arrival of a newborn baby brings the story full circle by welcoming a new passenger on board. The Titanic metaphor reminds us that everyone is heading towards the same destination, even if some travel on deck while others are confined to the hold. On this unequal voyage, laughter remains the last way to resist the shipwreck.